Recovery is Tough!

I'm getting behing on my blog...and everything else, but I wanted to write a quick update.

I had surgery last Tuesday, a bilateral mastectomy.  I don't care anymore that people know.  It was a choice I made to save my life and when all things were factored in about my cancer, it really was my only choice.  I'm glad I made that choice.  I also had a surgical port placed near my collarbone since I only have one good arm for IVs and it can't take a solid year of needle poke torture.

My whole dilemma about the surgery was not what to do, but which doctor to have do the surgery.  I finally disgarded my emotions and went with the surgeon who we felt had the most experience doing this.

The surgery took 6 hours.  First the general surgeon removed the breast tissue, and placed my port.  Then the plastic surgeon placed tissue expanders in me that will be replaced with normal implants after I finish chemotherapy.  All was supposed to go well, even though it was a pretty major surgery.  But after 2 1/2 hours in, and Tyson hadn't seen the first surgeon, he knew something went wrong.  She was supposed to be done in 1 1/2 hours.  The risk in placing the surgical port is to get a punctured lung.  We knew it was a risk, and the odds were 1 in 1000.  It turned out that I had to be that 1 in 1000.  :(

I did get out of surgery after 6 hours and spent 3 hours in recovery kind of in and out of it.  Every time I was awake I just kept complaining that I couldn't breathe.  They finally put some oxygen tubes on me.  When they were getting me ready to go to my room, the nurse bumped me and I cringed.  She then told me that it was my chest tube she bumped.  I was in disbelief.  I had no idea I had a chest tube at that point, but I knew what it meant with having one.  I just started crying, trying to hold back the tears because then I really couldn't breathe and it hurt more.

I ended up staying two nights at the hospital, which wasn't too bad.  I've been home and in bed ever since.  I had a good first day at home, but since all the anesthesia has worn off, I have just been in pain, and so exhausted, so weak, and so dizzy.  My cancer was on my right side, which feels pretty good.  But my left side is so messed up between a collapsed lung trying to mend and a port that seems that it didn't go in so well, and a tingling left arm with numbness.  I can't believe how messed up it is.  I also have four drain bulbs hooked onto a belt that I have to wear and take care of.  I have looked at myself post-surgery, but it nearly instantly makes me light-headed and nauseated.  It's weird, but it does.

We learned after the surgery that there was more cancer found in the same breast in different areas, which makes me so glad that I chose the surgery that I did.  I hope the worst part is behind us now.  I can't imagine that chemotherapy can make me any worse off.  I am grateful for all the prayers and help that we've had, especially my mom who has been so good to take care of all of us.  And hopefully this is somewhat coherent to read...and if not...well I will blame it on the drugs. 

Now back to bed...

Happy Halloween!

Mackenzie has been looking forward to Halloween, although not knowing what to expect, except that she finally gets to wear her costume. I think the Dora and Diego cartoons helped her out a little too. :) Collin doesn't really get it, but just goes with whatever Mackenzie does and didn't fight the costume at all.


We let Mackenzie decide what she wanted to be, and she said a bee. I have no idea why since she says bees are mean (she got stung this past summer) and she runs from them. She did like to fake sting us around the house though. Collin was a cute puppy dog, although he got mixed up for being a cow quite a bit too. Either way, he was cute in his costume.

We went to the church for Trunk-or-Treat. It was a small occasion, but perfect for my two little animals. Once Collin found a Dum-Dum in his bag, he dropped the bag in the parking lot, sat down in the middle of the road and worked on ripping off the wrapper. Nothing else mattered at that point!

As if they didn't get enough candy at the church, we took them around our neighborhood. That was the first time we've been able to walk around with the kids without needing wagons or strollers and it was great! We had a nice Halloween!

I got Collin dressed, except for the hood.  I worked on getting Mackenzie dressed, and I turned around and found Collin trying to finish dressing himself with his basket on his head.

All ready to go!

They were thinking this is sooooo cool!

Mackenzie leading the way.